More from North Carolina.
. . .
A hysterical reader writes:
From: ...@webtv.net (Winter Dove)
Date: Tue, 7 Aug 2001 15:33:51 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: I READ YOUR ARTICLE!!!!
LET ME SAY, I DIDN'T LIKE IT AT ALL!! FIRST OF ALL HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU HAVE THE ODASITY TO IMPERSONATE A CELEBRITY OVER THE INTERNET!! HOW DARE YOU!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE AND DAVID GALLAGHER IS AN ACTOR THAT ALOT OF CHILDREN LIKE AND HERE YOU ARE IMPERSONATING HIM THATS NOT RIGHT!!! ARE YOU A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?? THE LAW WILL TELL YOU THAT YOURE WRONG AND YOU KNOW THAT!! WHEN THE FANS ASK IF YOU ARE DAVID G WHICH YOURE PROBABLY NOT AND IF YOU WANT TO BE AN ACTOR THEN GO OUT AND BECOME IT THEN, ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THEM IS THAT YOURE NOT THE STAR AND IF THEY WILL PLEASE NOT BOTHER YOU. THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY!!! THATS IT!! ITS THAT SIMPLE!!! I THINK I SHOULD TAKE THIS TO THE POLICE AND PLACE A TRACKER ON YOU BECAUSE THATS NOT FAIR TO FANS WHO LIKE HIM AND ITS NOT FAIR TO DAVID LEE GALLAGHER!!! ILL TELL SOMEONE ABOUT THIS AND IF YOU TRY ANYTHING WITH ME ILL REPORT YOU TO THE NEWS STATIONS BECAUSE THEY ARE CRACKING DOWN ON THESE PEOPLE WHO ARE OLD MEN AND LURING CHILDREN AWAY AND KILLING THEM BY PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE THEY ARE NOT!! YOU ARE SO WRONG, PLEASE STOP!!
I feel really bad now and promise to stop endangering slow-witted minors. It's a scary world out there.
See also 3.3.